Class 1: August 26

A good a place to start as any is with what I thought the practicum meeting was going to be like. In fact I had discussed this very topic with a few of my classmates immediately before we arrived to the meeting. I really was hoping that these meetings would not be a 'waste of time' and I know how horrible that sounds. However, I had never met the professor before and I didn't personally have too high expectations. Despite the rave reviews I had heard from anyone and everyone who had met him I thought the tone of his emails seemed cold and indifferent. I really hoped we wouldn't spend an hour of the 3 hour class going around the room talking about our practicum experience, since we had done that twice already this summer. I really wanted some specific direction and guidance on how in the world come December I will have a 20-25 page policy paper in hand. I know I will get there and December will arrive, but I really can't imagine it at the moment. To say the meeting and the professor were nothing like I had in mind would be the understatement of the semester. In the short time he talked about himself, I found myself hanging on the edge of my seat. To be honest I didn't like that. As a long practicing pessimist, I'm immediately wary of anyone I find myself liking immediately without a tangible reason. So for the first hour I sat there, thinking, 'Is this guy for real?' It wasn't so much what this professor had done in his life, although that was also impressive, it was more about the way he talked about what he did. He not only talked about what he did and where, but he voluntarily told us why he did what he did. Why he chose those experience and what he got out of them. To me, that is the heart of the matter, and often takes some serious weaseling and modest manipulation to get others to divulge these internal thoughts to outsiders. Here this professor was handing this information out for free, to use and judge as we would. It was brave, in my opinion, as someone who keeps things close to the vest. He didn't think it was brave and he certainly didn't do it because he wanted others to see him being brave, it appeared, from my vantage, to just be his way. He was so authentically himself in everything he did, from discussing his accomplishments to talking about the syllabus. So I found the tangible thing that drew me to the edge of my seat; his authenticity. So for the rest of the class, I allowed myself to like the professor. We did 2 activities during the meeting. The first activity was a 'get to know you activity.' As everyone stifled an inward groan, he explained that while we think we might know everyone in the room, there is always something else a person has to teach us. This sounded all very Buddha/Gandhi or whatever to me. I've spent the last year in the same classrooms as these people and I've heard/read their intellectual thoughts. I've also heard the superficial things they have talked about. To be honest I don't do much talking, which is strange since my friends back home can't get me to shut up. I think I'm just a different person here. I was paired with Abigail and she told me about herself and her life. I won't repeat here all that I shared out in class, but her life experiences make her value diversity and differences in others and others' experiences. She really believes in energy and stuff like that. She is completely different than I am in almost every way. Except we like the same color nail polish. It was nice hearing about everyone else in the room too. I did learn a lot about where my classmates come from. I'm sure I heard it the very first time we introduced our self a year ago, but now I can see how some of those facts about where we come from and who we are, has influenced what we think about topics discussed in the past. The second activity we wrote about what feelings we had about our Practicum experience and topics we were thinking about writing our paper about. Two topics I'm thinking about are: 1. the state implementation of ESSA, the intersection of federal policy and state policy and the intricacies of communication and 2. Leadership: Is it important in a bureaucracy? My feelings about ESSA are that I want to understand it to a deep degree. My knowledge of NCLB was mostly what I heard and experienced from practicing teachers or as a student. I want to know how this is better and how Maine's education system will be bettered by ESSA. My feelings on the issue of the intersection of state and federal policy has a lot to do with the issue with leadership and the lack of communication in the different levels of government. It seems redundant and silly. My feelings on the question of leadership are more potent. I'm trying to stay objective but its difficult if the people feel a certain way and all the leadership does is tell them to feel a different way that's so unproductive. Where I am currently in my journey: I've learned a lot from this practicum experience and a lot of things I wouldn't have if I hadn't seen or heard them myself. I need to find more academic information to back up any statements I make or conclusions I draw on the state of things. I need to ask the superintendents why they feel like the commissioner doesn't provide adequate leadership. I need start writing the questions and thoughts that have been bouncing around in my head to better flush out what direction I want to go. What I want my final piece to do is to be understood by regular people. I want positive change to result. In my wildest dreams, I hope someone with the power to increase communication within the state government to read it.